I puked a lego.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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