but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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