note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
