well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize