What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
