Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Floor bacon is actually really good
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
