My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
