I want to have your abortion
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She announced her abortion via fbk
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
