my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
