Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
