I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
