Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
