bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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