The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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