I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Bring me that man meat
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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