It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
