2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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