I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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