Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize