I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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