so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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