I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
