smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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