How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
