A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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