i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
