how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he thought i was a dude.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
They took my balls.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
