So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
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After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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