i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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