I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He shit in the fireplace
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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