Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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