I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
