I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That accounts for only three of the penises
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
