Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
