We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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