i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
