You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
