So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
