You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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