South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
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Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
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It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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