I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
