How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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