I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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