doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
