Sry I called you an 8
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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