Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
