Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You can't special order awesome
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
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I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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