She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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