Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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