Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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