I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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