CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
