the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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