Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
