so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
