found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
