I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
