dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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