just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
is that a dick in a sweater?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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