I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
