why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
