wrigley field is MILF paradise
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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