Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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