She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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