where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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