is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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