And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
